[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- rachel maddow, from "pop star: never stop never stopping", producer judd apatow, comedian joe pera, featuring the 8g band with eric kretz. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump, yesterday, began walking back his proposed ban on muslim immigration and called the plan a suggestion rather than a firm policy idea. in much the same way he doesn't have hair so much as the

[ laughter ] donald trump, today, had a closed-door meeting with speaker paul ryan about how to best unify republicans around trump's controversial presidential run. yes, if only they could think of something that all republicans can agree on. i mean, there must be something. [ laughter ] maybe trade or foreign policy. there's something. you know what? they'll figure it out. i'm sure they'll figure it out. despite saying he was encouraged by his meeting with donald trump this morning, house speaker paul ryan is still holding off endorsing the presumptive republican nominee. buddy, what are you waiting for? he's your party's nominee. you're like a guy who hasn't deleted his tinder account, even though his girlfriend moved in three months ago. [ laughter ] it's over, dude! find something on netflix and hold his hand, 'cause it's over. donald trump told the associated press, yesterday, that he had whittled down his list of possible running mates to "five or six people."

"five or six people" is also how trump describes his kids. [ laughter ] "eric. there's a donald jr. lady." i don't usually do this. i'm really proud of this next joke. [ light laughter ] brazilian senators have voted to carry out impeachment proceedings against the president, dilma rousseff, who was accused of fudging government accounting to hide the scope of the government's deficit problems during the 2014 campaign. to give you an idea of how much money is involved, she may have hidden up to a brazilian dollars. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and that's called a long walk. [ light laughter ] a id

interview at a local school. on the plus side, he had the perfect answer to the question, "what's your greatest weakness?" [ laughter ] experts are recommending that people clean their tv remotes once a month to avoid spreading germs. though most people would rather spread germs than accidentally push some mystery button that ruins everything. [ laughter ] what? how did -- german? [ applause ] scheisse! pizza hut, this week, set a new world record for highest altitude pizza delivery, after dropping off a pie at 5,897 feet on the top of mt. kilimanjaro, which is strange, because usually when you're that high, you order domino's. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, according to a new

study on migrating tree frogs -- i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, i could be wrong here, but i think i smell some smoke and that can mean only one thing. it's time for "ya burnt!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome to the burn zone, everybody. we got a lot of topics to sizzle through and not a lot of time. over here at the burner, let's turn on the gas and load her up. ♪ me mind on fire me soul on fire feeling hot hot hot ♪ woo-hoo. i will say the words my writers write for me. [ laughter ] first up, best man speeches. best man speeches. who thought this was a good idea? you want to take the guy who knows the groom's worst secrets, pump him full of seven and sevens and make him tell stories in front of his bride's baptist grandmother? i haven't seen a worst strategy since they let o.j. try on that

side burn, chris darden. >> side burn! >> seth: and seriously, if you say "but seriously" one more time in your speech, i'm going to hit you with a centerpiece. best man speeches, how about a little less speak now, a little less hold your peace. ya burnt! picnics! you know what really makes mealtimes fun? bugs. i just laid down the blanket and there's already more ants than a matinee screening of "50 shades of grey." [ light laughter ] fun fact -- picnic is actually the ancient greek word for "her idea." [ light laughter ] and nothing improves my meal like a hippie yelling, "little help" after his frisbee lands in my three-bean salad. if i really wanted to eat outside, i'd just do it the old fashioned way and lose my home to foreclosure. picnics, if there's grass on the field, ya burnt! people with allergies. how have you not been eliminated by evolution? [ laughter ] i'm sure crl

have anything good to say about someone who gets their ass annually kicked by pollen. [ laughter ] and why do you always assume the rest of the office has claritin? "does anyone have any claritin?" no, guy, we don't have claritin, because this is an office, not a cvs. and before you ask, we don't have allegra-d either. you d-hole. [ laughter ] can we talk about sneezes for a second? isn't it time we replace "god bless you" with "shut the [ bleep ] up"? [ laughter ] i have some patience for you two-sneezers and also you three-sneezers, but four-sneezers, you're gonna have to leave the room. [ light laughter ] oh, and handkerchief users? you gross. [ light laughter ] and why is it monogrammed? are you worried someone's going to try to steal your snot rag? [ laughter and applause ] people with allergies -- ya burnt! hey, open mouth chewers, shut it! what's that sound? is someone slapping two flounder together?

no, todd's just working his way through a pint of cole slaw. [ light laughter ] also, safety note -- if you were choking, no one would know the difference. [ light laughter ] to which i say good. maybe if you didn't have allergies, you could breathe through your nose and chew with your mouth closed. double burn, allergy-havers. >> breathe it in! >> seth: hey, open mouth chewers, can you understand this? ya burnt! [ laughter ] i didn't think it through. newborn sons! oh, there you are. hey, newborn sons, how are you so bad at sleeping when it's your only job? you're like on alarm clock that i have to hold for an hour to get it to turn off. and when does the eye contact start? you don't look at me, you don't even look at your mom. and by the way, her eyes are up here, buddy. [ laughter ]

all day is eat, [ bleep ], and cry. you should run for governor of new jersey. [ laughter ] newborn sons -- [ whispering ] daddy loves you, but ya burnt. [ laughter ] duvet covers. why does my blanket need a blanket? [ laughter ] is it cold? what's next? do i need to buy a brush to brush my toothbrush? and duvets, cut the fancy name stuff. you're a cover for a cover. and why is it so hard to get you on the comforter? every time i change you, i feel like i'm struggling to put a condom on a giants flaccid penis. side burn, giants with e.d. >> fe fi fo no! >> seth: duvet covers, ya burnt! bartolo colon! the 42-year-old mets pitcher just gets better with age. not only do you have a

sunday you hit your first career home run. and as a fellow 42-year-old, you give me hope that i might hit my first major league dinger this year. and that's why you're this week's unburnable. ascend to safety my friend. [ applause ] [ siren ] oh! that sound right there means that things are really cooking up, which can mean one thing. it's time for the blaze! first up, west coast nba playoff games. look, i understand that steph curry is the greatest player on the planet, but your games start at 10:30 at night. which means i don't even know what he looks like. [ laughter ] ya blazed. charcoal briquettes. so, if i want dinner tonight, when should i start the coals? 2009? great. ya blazed. waldo. news flash, i don't care where you are. always standing around in crowds accidentally brushing up against strangers. you a creep and you blazed. [ laughter ] horse races. a bunch of white people in dumb hats cheer for an animal that barely knows what's going on. you're more like a trump rally with less horse [ bleep ]. ya blazed. [ laughter and applause ]

up next, membership programs. [ buzzer ] oh, and that buzzer means we've run out of time. looks like i'll have to teach you a life lesson some other time. this has been "ya burnt." [ cheers and applause ] and everybody, we have a great show for you tonight. she is the host of "the rachel maddow show" on msnbc. rachel maddow is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is a multitalented -- he's a very funny guy. he's one of our friends here at "late night." he's got a new film "popstar: never stop never stopping." judd apatow is here. [ cheers and applause ] and his fantastic book, "sick in the head", is now available in paperback with all new interviews. and also, i'm very excited about this, one of my favorite stand-ups. you're absolutely going to love him tonight. joe pera is on the show for the first time. [ cheers and applause ] you are here on a good one. we'll be right back with rachel maddow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

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ahhh, shrimp. the lobster's little brother. great choice. ughhhhhh, i'm so shrimp rich. all with no annual fee. cash back on purchases. backed by the service and security of american express. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band right over there. best band in late night. [ cheers and applause ] also, he's been sitting in all week with us. he's the drummer from the grammy-award winning stone

eric kretz is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] head on over to stonetemplepilots.com for all the latest news on the band. thk you so much for a great week, eric. >> great. thanks for having me. this is great. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guest tonight is an emmy-award winning broadcaster and best-selling author who hosts "the rachel maddow show" weeknights on msnbc. please welcome back to the show, our friend, rachel maddow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: hi there. >> hello. >> seth: how are you? >> i haven't slept in three months. >> seth: i know, i'm really taken with your energy. because i see you're up late on election returns, you do a lot of that yet you seem very energized. >> yeah. it's mindless adrenaline at this point. >> seth: uh-huh. great. >> because the country's flinging itself off a cliff. >> seth: uh-huh.

>> seth: so you are feeling the fear, you're like falling basically. >> yeah. >> seth: you have the adrenaline of someone who is falling? >> i'm reading in my spare time which is the time i would usually spend sleeping if i weren't so stressed out. i've been reading a lot of fiction about countries dying. >> seth: oh, really? [ light laughter ] >> yeah. other countries that are -- >> seth: i feel like that's a genre of fiction that might get its own section in barnes & noble. >> yes, exactly. sometimes it's stuff you need to know from people who have gone through this before you. all translated from the germans. [ light laughter ] >> seth: exactly. now, i want to ask you about today's news. big sit down with donald trump and the republican leaders. is this something that you've been following, did you pay attention to this today? yeah. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. there were televisions on near me. >> seth: okay. >> so to that sense i was following it because it was in my peripheral vision. >> seth: do you like this idea of party unity and the republicans? it seems like a story that will be over soon. they will be unified very quickly behind donald trump. >> i don't understand why there's so much focus on the republicans like splitting over donald trump or being in crisis

a new record was just set for a republican candidate for president receiving more votes than anybody else has ever received in a republican primary, and it was donald trump who set that record and there are six more states to go. >> seth: yeah. >> so no -- they've never voted more for a republican candidate for president than they have voted for donald trump. that's not the sign of a party divided. >> seth: yeah. >> and the party establishment like this idea that the party leadership of the republican party has some problem with him. right now i know of three elected officials in washington, serving elected officials who say they're not with trump. three. lindsey graham, a guy named ben sasse. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> anybody? and a guy named dean heller. can anybody verify for me those are real people? [ light laughter ] no. that's it. i mean, you could fit them in a very small car with room for either two other people or three dogs.

that's the big resistance. that's the party being torn apart. >> seth: and you know, in donald trump's defense he has said -- because hillary has received more votes than he has. >> yup. >> seth: by 12 million to 10 million. but donald trump said, you know, to be fair i ran against 100 people and she ran against one. and that's an excellent point. >> yes. and it's mathematically true. when you compare him to all other republicans who have ever run for president ever, nobody has ever gotten more republican votes than him. ever. >> seth: now, do you -- there isn't that much daylight. and i think that's why this unity is a fake story because there will always be unity. there's not that much daylight between what the republican party stands for and has been standing for and donald trump's positions. >> yeah. i mean, he's a different seeming personhan they would usually pick. i'll just leave it at that. [ light laughter ] but when it comes to the stuff that he's actually for, the stuff that he's committed to, i mean, people say, it's so outrageous. i can't believe the republican party has nominated someone who wants to build a freaking wall? what is a wall on the border? yeah. well, you know what?

marco rubio and ted cruz were also in favor of building a wall on the border. >> seth: yeah. >> that's what the republican party is like now. so if it creeps you out in the person of donald trump, that's something about how you feel about donald trump's personality, but his policies are all just republican policies. when he said that women should go to jail or otherwise be punished for having an abortion, people were like, whoa, whoa, whoa. you can't say that. well, what did you expect was going to happen if you made abortion illegal? >> seth: yeah. >> people are going to get in trouble when they do an illegal thing, right? he just said it. so he's not proposing something that's any different than other republicans are proposing. he just has like a different kind of hair cut. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] he has a style that's all his own. >> yes. >> seth: of course, his anti-muslim position has been -- got him a lot of traction early on. >> yeah. >> seth: i think a lot of voters responded to that. one place where that's receiving a lot of attention, of course, is abroad. and you had a piece on about the pe

>> yeah. >> seth: of london, the city congressman and then is it the mayor of paris? >> yeah. so donald trump wants to ban muslims from entering the united states, which is amazing, and i should mention just in terms of him being a republican like a big majority of republican voters now say they want that, too. >> seth: yeah, that's in the 60s of polling. >> not just donald trump. >> seth: that's polling high. >> yeah, it's crazy. but sadiq khan was just elected to be mayor of london. first ever muslim mayor of london. he would be banned from visiting the united states under mr. trump's policies. so he was with the mayor of paris, and a reporter asked him about it. and he kind of just let the mayor of paris respond. >> seth: it was a great -- i want to play it really quick, because her response is pretty terrific. >> this is great. >> i want to ask you about donald trump because obviously he would ban muslims but he said he'd make an exception for sadiq khan. >> he's very stupid.

[ light laughter ] >> that's to the point. do you have anything else to add to this assessment, paris mayor, anne hidalgo? anything else you'd like to say? >> and mr. trump is so stupid. my god, my god. [ light laughter ] >> seth: now, i think the one thing to point out -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] i don't think among core trump supporters they will be too rattled by the fact that the mayor of paris is upset. >> right. or the mayor of london or the mayor of anywhere foreign! >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. it will be awkward if the mayor of like europe's two great capital cities think that the american president is too stupid to even involve engaging with. >> seth: yeah. >> that will be awkward. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i think also if trump saw that, first of all, i'm never going to give a press conference in a train station. [ light laughter ] >> this is terrible. >> seth: do it on a tarmak of a private airport. >> he's not even wearing a tie. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what about, is there

this campaign season. is there anyone now that we're sort of down to like three people. is there anyone you miss? who do you most that was running for president? >> there were so many. >> seth: there were so many. >> you know, i think i miss lindsey graham. >> seth: yeah, he's a lot of fun. [ light laughter ] >> i mean, on a serious note, there's a lot going on in terms of foreign policy and like stuff going wrong in the world. like, it's afghanistan, we're in year 15 of our war there, and iraq and the isis and the civil war in syria and russia's going nuts. and china. there's a lot going on. i wish we had a presidential election that was more about national security. and he was the guy that wanted to run purely on national security. >> seth: yeah. >> so i miss that. but more on a day-to-day basis, sometimes he just seemed like he was a little drunk. [ light laughter ] a little tipsy. some of the debates he couldn't get into, he would turn up at the bar and hope that reporters would be there. hey, guys. [ imitating drunk mumbling ]

and so i miss that. but that was fun. >> seth: he had a nice southern sass to him as well. >> yeah. >> seth: he seemed like a guy who would sit on a porch and give withering comments to like passers-by. [ light laughter ] >> when he said about ted cruz, that you could murder ted cruz on the floor of the senate and if the trial was held in the senate, you could not be convicted? [ light laughter ] i mean, that's a funny thing to say, but as soon as he said it he went -- [ giggles ] because he was a little drunk. i miss that. i miss that. >> seth: do you think -- is there any lesson for hillary to learn from all of donald trump's vanquished foes in the gop primary? >> you know, it was interesting. like a lot of the anti-trump stuff, the way they tried to run against him was by saying he's not a true conservative. he's not been doctrine air in all things that matter to the republican party. republican voters are like, who cares? [ light laughter ] we weren't actually falling for that whole line that you guys have been selling us for a long time. obviou t

really running on any one individual policy. like even the muslim ban. this week he said, when the whole thing happened with the london mayor, his response to that was, hey, hey, nobody's calling to a ban on muslims. it was just a suggestion. [ light laughter ] you've been calling for a ban on muslims. literally you stood in front of a bunch of people with a piece of paper and said, as if you were a different person, donald j. trump is calling for -- so his policy's just like whatever he grabs out of the air that's floating around. it's not been what he's running on. he's sort of running on who he is, you know? he's a big rich guy who doesn't pay attention to what people want from him. and he's willing to be politically incorrect and self-funding and all this stuff. i feel like if you don't go at that, if you don't go at who he is and you try to keep it based on his policies, which he doesn't even understand let alone necessarily believe in, i think you kind of miss the point and you miss the chance to actually take him apart where it counts. >> seth: yeah, i'm not -- i

think he's going to be really hard. i think he's a hard person to run against. >> yeah. >> seth: it will be very interesting to watch. do you think it will be -- are we looking at six really ugly months? >> yes. >> seth: yeah. >> but i also think this is -- if you care about politics, this is a time when politics is really going to matter. i mean, i think right now -- and liberals are going to freak out when i say this -- i think it's 50-50 in terms of who wins. >> seth: yeah. i agree with you. >> and how hillary clinton, who is the likely democratic nominee, runs against him, how he runs is going to matter. like the practice of political campaigning is about to be really important. there's nothing you can say right now intrinsically to who they are that tells you how it's going to turn out. and so this is a time to really pay attention. like it is fun and it is interesting and a little bit scary, but the future of our country is going to be radically different depending on which of these candidates wins. and the next six months is going to determine it. and we all owe it to our own country just to pay attention to it and be engaged. it's important this time. >> seth: thank you so much for the work you're doing keeping us informed. [ cheers and applause ] ra m

we'll be right back with judd apatow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ use ] ♪ all the best stuff happens in the dark. there's dancing and music in the dark. people are younger and better looking in the dark. see? people wear their most stylish and glamorous clothes in the dark. in the dark, people gain an irrational sense of invincibility. bowling is less sad, and making out is much more likely. so if all this good stuff happens in the dark, wouldn't you want a camera that can capture things... ...in the dark? the new galaxy s7 edge with low-light camera. ♪ from the makers of pepsi cola. i'm gonna smell it. i'm just gonna take one small sip... kinda seemed like more than a sip. 1893. bloldly blended colas. ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest tonight, is a writer, director and producer who is responsible for hit comedies like "trainwreck," "anchorman 2," and, "knocked up." his latest project "popstar: never stop never stopping" opens in theaters june 3rd. please welcome back to the show, judd apatow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: all right. first of all, welcome back. >> it's good to be back. >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here. >> it's good to be here. >> seth: but immediately i have to ask you about something. you went to the 75th anniversary of the uso. >> yes.

>> seth: entertaining the troops. >> yes, honored to do it. >> seth: honored to do it in d.c. and here's a photo. >> don't give it away yet. >> seth: it's a-list. so, who were you most excited to meet? because the president was there. >> the president was there, joe biden was there, jill biden, michelle obama. and but letterman was there. >> seth: yeah. >> pretty exciting. >> seth: yeah. >> he's like our bigfoot. >> seth: he's our bigfoot. and there you are backstage with him. [ applause ] >> you never get a picture with bigfoot. >> seth: that's huge. >> yeah. >> seth: also, if you do get a picture of bigfoot, it's like fleeting. >> he's running away. >> seth: he never like stands in the center and puts his arms around people. what was that like? was that really fun? >> it was the most fun thing ever. >> seth: what are your interactions with letterman? 'cause i know you were here the night he announced he was stepping down. >> i was. >> seth: we talked about how much he meant to us. have you interacted with him much, over the years? >> no. [ laughter ] i did the show once. i thought it went okay, but never went back ever again. [ laughter ]

did okay." then we all went to do this, and we were excited to do it for the troops. and they say, you get to meet the president. but then they say letterman's there and you're way more excited to meet letterman than the president. [ laughter ] >> seth: because there will be a lot of presidents. >> there's only one david letterman. then we are stuck in a hallway waiting to take a photo with the president. and then, in my head, i thought i want a photo with mr. letterman. then we were giggling, we were so excited. he was so nice. we tried to be respectful though. we all love him so much we could get weird and creepy with him easily. [ laughter ] >> seth: but you kept it cool? >> i kept it semi-cool. >> seth: semi-cool. [ laughter ] >> i was hiding in a corner. that's how i kept it cool. >> seth: this is very exciting. popstar, this is a movie you produced with the lonely island. this is andy, this is akiva, this is jorma. three of my oldest, my dearest friends. i'm so excited to see this film. so, andy -- explain it real quick. andyla

>> andy plays conner for real. who is like your modern kind of pop star, and all that goes along with that. >> seth: got it. >> not the sharpest guy you've ever met in your life. >> seth: andy is very good at playing idiots. [ laughter ] andy samberg is the daniel day-lewis of playing idiots. [ laughter ] >> exactly, no. he's hysterical. everyone's hysterical, there's tons of cameos in the movie. >> seth: yeah, one of the cameos you got -- here's, you and akiva and ringo starr. how was with your ringo starr meeting? >> i wasn't excited to meet him at all. [ laughter ] >> seth: at least he didn't make that face in the letterman picture. how was your ringo starr interaction? >> well, you know, we were interviewing him so that in the movie he's talking about conner for real. and so we're trying to get him to talk about conner for real. and i said to him, why don't you talk about how sometimes when bands break up it's good because all the members get to do all cool things like you and the beatles. he went, "no,

[ laughter ] that was a terrible thing to do. we shouldn't have done that." [ laughter ] and then you're just like oh, my god, he's talking about the beatles! [ laughter ] then the rest of the day, the crew would walk up to me and they're like in tears. but he was there. i mean, they mean so much to people. then there was a weird period at the improv where paul mccartney kept coming to the improv. >> seth: a standup club. is this recently? >> yeah, four or five months ago just to watch stand-up. he likes stand-up. and then one day i wasn't there and they're like paul mccartney came again. i'm like, he came again. and he said, yeah, we all took pictures with him. my friend avery, took pictures of him in the bathroom. we saw him in the bathroom, and we asked him. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: see, now we have our creepiest photo of the day. [ laughter ] so we have a clip from "popstar." set it up for us. >> well, conner for real is in love and he's proposing. and of course, when he proposes,

seal singing at his proposal then for reasons which we're not totally sure of, he has a wolves there to make it fancier. 'cause everything's fancier with wolves. >> seth: shall we take a look. >> and this is what happens. >> seth: all right, let's take a look. >> can we get the wolves to be more quiet? >> no. [ howling and growling ] >> ashley wednesday, will you marry me? ♪ please freaking say yes girl ♪ >> yes! yes! >> the wolves are loose! [ laughter ] >> oh, god! >> run! [ screaming ] [ gunshots ] >> seal! >> seal, come on, hurry! are you okay? >> i'm fine -- >> oh!

[ laughter and applause ] >> seth: we'll be right back with more judd apatow. that's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ and here we have 1893, from the makers of pepsi cola. i'm gonna smell it. i'm just gonna take one small sip... kinda seemed like more than a sip. 1893. bloldly blended colas.

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tell us a little bit about that show. >> well, it's just about a couple told very slowly everything that happens to a couple. and people like it. people like to binge. you guys binge? >> seth: bingers? [ cheers and applause ] bingers in the house. >> people will watch the whole series in one afternoon. then if i make a movie that's like two hours and one minute, people have a heart attack. [ laughter ] >> seth: they're like, "i have important things. i have to get home and binge!" >> then some people give me a hard time. they're like, "oh, you're doing another thing like a goofy looking guy with a gorgeous women." >> seth: yeah. >> but i kind of think all men are ugly and all women are pretty. >> seth: but seth rogen used to -- [ applause ] >> seth: there you go, give it up for yourselves. >> but seth rogen used to get mad when "knocked up" came out that people thought he couldn't get katherine heigl. he was always like -- [ seth rogen impression ] "it's so weird that i could get katherine heigl that you could make a movie out of it?" [ laughter ]

it said, "what would you do if this guy got you pregnant?" [ laughter ] and seth would be like, "so i look so weird that it's marketing?" he's like, everyone looks like me. no one looks like brad pitt. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's true. people get pregnant all the time. so it's not all brad pitt's kids -- just like, half of them. [ laughter ] so i want to talk to you about garry shandling. i know he was a dear friend of yours. so sad, his passing. and you wrote on the "larry sanders show." >> yes. >> seth: one of the great things about "sick in the head" which is a book i highly recommend. you interviewed comedians in it. he's one of the ones you interviewed. what was your memory of "the larry sanders show" and working with garry? >> well garry, you know, he was a real visionary. i mean, he changed television with "it's garry shandling's show." and "the larry sanders show." and so much of what we like in single camera comedy all comes from inspiration from "the larry sanders show." and he gave me all my first jobs. one of my first jobs was writing for the grammys. anen

did it again while we were doing "the larry sanders show." and i said, hey, garry, ask r.e.m. to be on the "larry sanders show." >> seth: at the grammies? >> and he's like, "no, we have bookers for that. that's embarrassing." they're right there, you just killed. just do it. they're walking towards us. he goes, hey, you guys want to come on "the larry sanders show" and michael stipe just went -- [ light laughter ] then garry goes, "or i can go [ bleep ] myself." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: i wish i'd heard that story before i got a talk show and accidentally asked a few people to come on the talk show. [ laughter ] because i definitely got that. i got stiped a few times. >> then we were going through -- >> seth: yes, this is fantastic. explain how you came across this? >> garry has boxes and boxes of jokes and pads with tons of ideas on them. but in it someone found out that garry filled out a comment card at the quality inn. [ laughter ] this, i think, was like 1978 or '79.

really funny. it says, was your reservation handled promptly and courteously? "i was told to leave my room one hour after moving in." [ laughter ] was your reservation accurate as you requested? "i had requested another hotel." [ laughter ] was the service of our bellman friendly and courteous? "he spit on me and then called me a jew." [ laughter ] was your room clean, pleasant and comfortable? "there was dog [ bleep ] in my bed." [ laughter ] >> seth: fantastic. >> i guess he didn't hand it in. >> seth: yeah. also, how would you change the quality to better suit your needs and desires? "new walls, beds and toilet would be nice." >> then there's one he said, if any member of our staff proved outstanding wee would welcome an opportunity to com h

>> seth: well, again, a great way to remember him is to read that interview. and he seems to have been -- which i think maybe you didn't get from his persona on television. he seemed to be the most loving, supportive person to other comedians. >> yeah, absolutely. i really think like, in the last dozen years he was just there for everybody. come to my table read or my screening and give me notes. he was a very giving person. >> seth: that's fantastic. thank you so much for being here. i can't wait to see the film. always a pleasure to see you. [ cheers and applause ] oh, real quick i want to say this. very excited about this you have two daughters, 13 and 18. your oldest daughter going to northwestern next fall. my alma mater. >> that's right. [ applause ] >> seth: is she excited? >> she's excited. what should she know going in? >> seth: here's the thing. she should know that anything that i thought was cool 20 years ago is horse [ bleep ] now. [ laughter ] so she shouldn't listen to me. but thanks so much for being here. give it up for judd apatow, everybody. "popstar: never stop never stopping" opens june 3rd.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to late night. i'm very excited about this. our next guest is a very funny comedian who will be headlining the massachusetts museum of contemporary art on saturday july 9th. you can also see his show "joe pera talks you to sleep" on adult swim. please welcome joe pera. [ cheers and applause ] >> hello. [ laughter ] my name is joe pera. a few months ago i had dinner

with my mom's cousin bill. and his two sons patrick and henry who he's raising on his own. and bill was telling me that this young gentlemen, he's trying to teach the boys that they should have ten jokes in their back pockets for use in any social situation. [ laughter ] it's quite different from unspoken joke advice that my own dad gave me which was to go into social situations guns blazing until you accidentally offend someone or your wife tells you to knock it off. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i thought about advice and maybe there are a handful of things that i do pull out of my own back pocket for use in social situations. [ light laughter ]

for instance, whenever i pick up my mother josephine from the hairdresser, i'll wave to the rest of the ladies getting perms and then say, this truly is the beauty parlor. [ laughter ] a good one for weddings is if you clink your glass and stand up as if you're going to give a toast and then you announce, and now i will tackle race. [ laughter ] just kidding. john and mimi, i wish you the best. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] if someone needs cheering up, i might use this one.

i'll go over and say, can you keep a secret? this is really embarrassing to admit, but i used to sing a cappella in college. [ laughter ] a cool guy like you? [ laughter ] no way. [ laughter ] i was short. if you need me to prove it -- ♪ do do do do do [ light laughter ] ♪ do do do do do do

♪ do do do do do ♪ do do do do do do [ laughter ] ♪ jesse was a friend yeah you know he's been a good friend of mine ♪ ♪ do do do do do [ laughter ] ♪ do do do do do do lately something's changed that's hard to define ♪ jesse's got himself ♪ a girl and i want to make her mine do do dodo

[ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ and he's watching her with those eyes ♪ [ laughter ] easy there. [ light laughter ] joke number four. [ light laughter ] when a friend introduces me to his new girlfriend i'll say, so this is the side piece you've been telling me about. [ light laughter ] just kidding. john and mimi, i wish you the best. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: joe pera, everybody. that was great. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ rs and applause ] ♪

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this is my husband, gibby! i wanted to show him your furniture! i like it! you wanna come in? oh no. that would be weird! the memorial day sale. from classic to contemporary, havertys. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: joe, real quick. your parents are here, yeah? your parents are in the audience tonight? >> they are. dave and kathy pera are in the audience tonight. >> seth: gotcha. do you want to say hi to them? >> sure. [ laughter ] how's it going, mom and dad? >> seth: we don't have time for a conversation.

[ laughter ] >> seth: my thanks to rachel maddow, judd apatow, joe pera, eric kretz and, of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: hey, gang! it's your buddy, carson daly, here, stationed at the w hotel, new york, times square for tonight's "last call." here's what we got coming up. "the girlfriend experience's" amy seimetz is in our spotlight