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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  May 25, 2023 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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taking. >> my wife would like the jason mask, she likes horror movies >> her birthday is this weekend >> ♪ ♪ >> north korea director kim jong un is sporting a new look. if the image or show him in a white tunic. he's wearing black slacks and he has a khaki sort of safari hat on and he's been spotted in a brown field jacket. the experts say he sending a message that he is bold, proud, in control of his nuclear program. the reclusive nation has conducted seven missile tests in the past two weeks. >> glorious peoples, over the last two weeks, i've been firing missiles over japan, but no one seems to care. who does a guy have to blow up around here to get attention?
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behold, that is me in a flowing cream tunic. that's right, white after labor day. take that, you and peacekeepers and fashion police. that's the beginning of my fashion flex. i've also. it with a floppy, wide-brimmed combat had perfect for weeding the radish patch or incinerating a neighbor. this is the biggest authoritarian fashion statement since fidel castro were hammer pants. you can learn about my rise in the fashion world in the new movie "the desperate wears prada." >> announcer: it is "the late show with stephen colbert"! tonight! vlad haddix! plus we welcome john lisko!
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and wendell pierce! featuring louis kato and the late show band ! in live from new york city, it is stephen colbert! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey! there you go! i've been looking everywhere for you! ♪ ♪ have a good show, have a good, have a good! hey, everybody! please, have a seat! welcome, one and all! in there, out there, everybody that is watching!
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welcome to "the late show," i'm your host, stephen colbert. it is october. it is october 11th and we know what that means, it is the last day of fat bear week. the national park celebrates brown bears bulking up by letting enthusiasts vote on the favorite fat bear in a march madness style bracket and the contenders via a live bear cam. the bear cam can get pretty raunchy. i've heard some contenders even go bottomless. oh, no, oh, no, rabbit i'm stuck. oh, no. but sometimes, folks, something is different this fat bear week. usually bears do not socialize with each other, but this time two fat bears formed a friendship which experts say is
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groundbreaking. two mothers with a single code of each were sisters who have been playing, resting, fishing for salmon together. that they are best friends? sisters raising their cubs together. they stole the plot of my new sitcom, "grin and bear it." this is cbs, that is kevin james in one of the bear suits. not only the fat bear news i've been following. at this year, one of the top two contenders is former champion 747 a.k.a. colbert. yeah. yeah. dig it. a name inspired by the imperfection he shares with stephen colbert. yeah, thanks for bringing up my hair, yeah. i almost forgot for one brief moment that my head is deformed. see that?
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look at that. beautiful. hideous. it beautiful. hideous. hey, how are you doing? hope you didn't just eat. on the plus side, i can do this. [cheers and applause] yeah. can a bear do that? suck a salmon, bear. colbert is a shoe in which is why i am shocked to announce he wa the target of election fra fraud. yeah. yeah. on sunday, my boy went up against bore 35 holly who seemed like she was going to win until they tweeted fat bear week scandal. bear stuffed bear face with fish, our ballot box has been stuffed in a peer someone has decided to spam the fat bear
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week poll. stop the steel, stop the steel, stop the steel. wow! wow! i get it now, that's really satisfying to hear. [cheers and applause] i got a little -- i got chills. luckily, this fraud was uncovered and the votes were adjusted and the official winner was 747 colbert with 37,940 votes! we did it! four more and bears, four more bears! four more bears! today, today was the final vote and do we have the results? we do not have the results. why don't we? because we do the show early and the vote and goes until 9:00 p.m. on the east coast. normally, we do the show earlier -- are we live. why aren't we live? it's election.
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it is fat bear week election night. could we be live? let me check if we are live. [bleep]. [cheers and applause] did they believe that? they bel [bleep] that? i guess we are not live. so anyway, that's our coverage of fat bear week, i want to start the show with something light because the headlines are little nuclear. you see the war in ukraine continues to escalate as vladimir putin has been getting kicked in the stroganoff. they're also coming coming after the u.s. for supporting ukraine. atlee launched a devastating cyber attack temporarily taking down several airport websites. oh, no! not our airport websites! first thing i do every morning
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is check my email! then go straight to laguardia airport.com. i need to know! i need to know the hours of the rush is not the only one trying to scare the world because north korea says the recent missile tests involve tactical nuclear drills. and for the record, saying that they are tactical nukes does not make them any less terrifying. you're all making it a preemptive deuce in our tactical pants. drills overseen by north korea dictator kim jong un nt did it with style. here he is cosplaying as diane keaton in the latest nancy myers movie. it is kim-clicated. i see what you did there.
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[cheers and applause] how many weeks? four weeks. four weeks away from the midterms and ohio voters this mid term to decide whether they like adventure capitalists or the beer you glued on being a graced by the former president who gave him this ringing endorsement last month. >> j.b. is kissing my [bleep]. >> stephen: j.d., if you want to do that you have to squeeze in next to lindsey graham. because those two -- [cheers and applause] those two, those two are like a couple of puppies fighting over eta. luckily, there is plenty of -- to go around. last night, last night he faced off in the first and only debate against his opponent, democratic
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congressman tim ryan seen here playing the air hoagie. he made sure nobody forgot how much of a gravel or he is buried >> i think the problem is when you've got guys like j.d. vance who cannot stand up to anybody. i'm from ohio, i do not kiss anybody's -- like them. they need a -- kicker, not a -- to serve. >> stephen: well said, tim ryan! whoever wins, ohio senator, something with a -- but perhaps no one, j.d. vance out of touch more than j.d. vance. here he is criicizing federal jury, glaciation federal decriminalization of marijuana. >> for smoking a joint. you look at the underlying charge, not that they smoked a joint, it's that they smoked a
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joint and then pete and elderly woman over the head with a pistol. >> stephen: yeah, and a lot of times you read that. i read that every day. read marijuana famously leads to all kinds of violent crime. grand theft nacho, reckless and giggle meant, a conspiracy to commit to a whole of planet earth. after the midterms it's another big day, joe biden's birthday. he'll turn 80 years old and making him the first president to become an octogenarian while in office. the white house has a little bit of a problem because the oldest president ever is not the kind of record you want to set. paired with rogue or cleveland's longest presidential anger na nails. so, the white house is playing down the milestone and according to administration sources, you should not expect a blow out birthday bash which is just what you say when you're planning a
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surprise party. it is going to be hot, senior citizen throw down, low cut shawls, shots, shots, shots. covert flu and shingles tonight, we are going to party! tonight, we are to party! tonight we are going to party! tonight we are going to party because you're almost 99. thank you very much. we here at the "the late show," we want to make our of octogenan president looked young and vibrant. introducing youth restoring energetic sound effects. jim. [laughter]
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we've got a great show for you tonight! my guests are tony award winner john lithgow and wendell pierce! when we come back, i get a visit from rudy giuliani himself. i'm just as surprised as you a are! ♪ ♪ >> announcer: "the late show with stephen colbert" sponsored by mcdonald's. to the first one. [crunch] mmm. see. get one favorite like 10 piece chicken mcnuggets and get another for just a buck, right now at mcdonald's. ♪
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that's a lot of cereal. prices going up everywhere. it's goodbye steaks. hello, cereal. this is grocery outlet and your family can still have steaks for dinner. follow me. at grocery outlet we have an amazing selection of meats. like beef, pork, chicken,
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all within your family's budget even today. hello. steak and chicken and pork chops. ♪ grocery outlet bargain market ♪. sorry. got excited. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey, everybody, say hello to louis kato, say band. thanks, man. lewis. i like the red guitar. >> thanks, it's a gibson. >> the same guitar that gary carr jr. place. beautiful guitar. tonight, we got a couple of very fine actors. one of our dearest friends here
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and "the late show," john lithgow is going to be out here. and the man tony winner amazing actor playing willie loman on broadway right now, wendell pierce is here. folks. [laughter] it seems like there's always news about former new york mayor and scarecrow you madtuffn grandpa's nightstand. rudy giuliani. rudy was the leaky face of the ex-president's attempts to overthrow the 2020 election and now according to custom a hearing to the generator six committee, we are learning he was visibly drunk and erratic on election night. rudy refuted that reading on disgusted and outraged at the outright lie. it i refused all alcohol that
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evening. my favorite drink is diet pepsi. which is exactly what someone would say when they are completely hammered. and things to his former work with the former president, he's nestled in trouble. they issued a subpoena speak to mike seeking other communication and he is a target of the criminal investigation into the criminal investigation in georgia. they will hold a hearing in washington of stripping him of his d.c. law license. which -- [cheers and applause] which is the least of sign of the words rudy giuliani and stripping. even worse for rudy, the head of the hearing turned down his request to truncate the proceedings to allow him to host his daily radio show even though he's currently his only source of income.
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rudy isn't letting his financial troubles keep him down. in fact, he's recently seen partying in times square's ■bar. i'm a little disappointed, we are here at the north end of times square, i wish he had checked in with me while he was here and i'm being told that he is doing that right now. please welcome to "the late show" the ex-president's ex-lawyer, rudy giuliani. good evening. [cheers and applause] good -- good evening, mr. mayor. >> that's an outright lie! >> stephen: what is? >> whatever you said, i did not your allegations that i'm partying in sare.whedsing>>everh accution,utrear in se. >> of course i am! that's where real new yorkers go to eat real new york bubblegum shrimps and watch the ball drop
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every night on new york you. eve.[cheers and applause] start spreading the news. >> stephen: i see you are still drinking wine. >> no, all right lie! this is just my favorite drink, diet pepsi. [laughter and applause] taste the rainbow. >> stephen: okay. mr. former mayor, i have to ask about your legal troubles. you're the target of multiple investigations in your effort to overturn the 2020 election with wild conspiracy theories. >> that's what they want you to think. i'm being pursued by an ai
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program on hunter biden's laptop that secretly controls the voting machines to elect a president liz cheney, which is fshort for lizard person cheney. >> stephen: no, it's not beer to mr. mayor, making the evidence free allocation in the court is the reason later this month you could possibly lose your license to practice law. >> outright lie, law, like, no, law, lie! i don't practice the law, i get out there and improvise. i'm a jazz attorney. hit it, louis! ♪ ♪ [scatting] >> stephen: becky louis. that was -- [cheers and applause]
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i've got to say, that was actually pretty good. >> then don't forget, i'm out here in times square dropping stats for cash.& sometimes i sing jazz. >> stephen: mr. former mayor, speaking of your finances, is it true you're only source of income as your radio show? >> outright lie! that's why i'm proud to announce that this interview like my radio show is brought to you by mail ship. >> stephen: you cannot sell ad space on my show! anyway, why would you be sponsored by the marketing platform -- >> no, i'm talking about a mailchimp. yeah, his name is beans. he's a chimpanzee at the bronx zoo. he gives me 10% of his bananas in exchange for legal advice.
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>> stephen: i've got to say, sir, it's hard to see the man who was once america's mayor fall so hard to hear that you're under investigation, schilling on the radio, clearly drinking heavily. you do not seem well. >> outright lie! i've never been healthier. i just had my physical and they said my liver was too big to fail. [laughter] >> stephen: really? really? [cheers and applause] ♪ sir, i don't really think that that is -- >> it's true, just ask my physician. at dr pepper! >> stephen: rudy giuliani, everybody! will be right back with john lithgow! ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] amazing as always. negah santos, everybody!
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welcome back, everybody, my first guess is an award-winning actor you love. please welcome back to "the late show," your friend and mine, john lithgow, everybody! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ hey, yo! there you go. [laughter] wonderful to see you. we just had rudy giuliani out here. it did you run into him backstage? >> john: you know, every time he's been here he's been in the next dressing room. >> stephen: he seems to be a super fan of yours. it's always wonderful to see
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you. we are so lucky to have you so many times over the years. thank you so much for being such a frequent guest. >> john: you kw, ieeve bome fris anyetry we have said to each other has been witnessed by millions and millions of people. it's a little weird, you're one of my favorite pillow to have on and i feel like i'm sitting down with a buddy and it's all been documented. >> john: but i do have a terrifying fantasy. you and i actually having lunch alone together and discovering that we don't really like each other. it's like, where is all the laughter? >> stephen: there is one way to find out. i'll tell you what, lunch alone together, but we will set up a camera. >> john: exactly. >> stephen: then we will be at our best behavior. a speech at we will be recorded earlier okay. i'm a fan not only of your
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acting but you're right in, your poetry, your music. you know, i've got your albums.i your directing doug mcgrath's one-man show "everything is f fine" at the daryl roth in new york city. >> john: yes. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: here's the thing which i find surprising. this is your first time you are directing in 45 years. why -- you did direct before. >> john: i started out more as a director than an actor. what happened and drove you off -- >> i finally became a successful actor. it dawned on me that i like acting a lot more than directing. directing, you are worrying all the time until it is actually done. you are responsible for about 50
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people minimum where as actor is not responsible for anything at all. >> stephen: you only get applause if you are lucky, you get applause on opening night. >> john: people don't even know who you are and if you show up two years -- two weeks after the opening night, they pay absolutely no attention to you. you are old history. feeling because i'm an actor. >> stephen: what you like about directing? >> john: well, i do love actors and i love acting and i love actors. i do feel as an actor, i do have one other way to guide them. >> stephen: you've been through it. >> john: i've through it and it's an interesting theme. by now, i've worked with 200 directors. directors tend to only have worked with one. himself or herself. and therefore, by now, i'm a
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sort of connoisseur. i can pick and choose what i like. >> stephen: different directors have different styles. i'm not going to ask you to name your favorite director unless you want to. >> john: there have been so many great directors. and a whole lot of total turns. [laughter] >> stephen: do go on. >> john: they are the ones i will not name. >> stephen: is there a favorite know that you've gotten? >> john: i think my favorite note came from a young directing ira sachs. he directed a beautiful little film i did a few years ago called "love is strange" and the constant note to both of us is now, no acting. and at first, fred and i who are both excessive theater actors
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are response was like what do you think we do? but very soon, it dawned on me just what he was after. it was the most fun elaborated honest and simple acting i think i've ever done. it's one of my favorite performances. >> stephen: we have to take a quick break, but stick around because we will be back with more john lithgow, everybody! ♪ ♪ could i get the 10 piece chicken mcnuggets? wait no, big mac. hmm. [honk] sir? i'm still here! uhhh. get one favorite like a big mac or 10 piece chicken mcnuggets and get another for just a buck, right now at mcdonald's. ♪
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don't take apretude if you're allergic to it or taking certain medicines, as they may interact. tell your doctor if you've had liver problems or mental health concerns. if you have a rash or other allergic reactions, stop apretude and get medical help right away. serious side effects include allergic reactions, liver problems, and depression. some of the most common side effects include injection-site reactions and headache. you must receive apretude as scheduled. ask your doctor about long-acting apretude. and prep without pills. save at apretude.com (vo) with armor all stain-repelling technology... it's easy to everyday proof your car... no matter how tough the job is. armor all technology. less work. more clean. at marshalls, our buyers go to great lengths to find you great deals on great quality products. it's great. everything here is great. we get the deals. you get the good stuff. marshalls. we all need fiber for our digestive health,
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>> stephen: but i think that's what he meant. >> john: i hope he thinks of it as a gift other people. of >> stephen: hey, everybody, we are back here with john lithgow. john, have you done much shakespeare? i don't ask me to i certainly did when i was younger >> stephen: this is young john lithgow in kindergarten and i was going to ask how did this guy become that guy? other through entropy? age does -- age performs miracles. actually i already had my first performance. i was one of nora's children" the doll's house" when i was two years old, my own father and i do not remember a single thing about the experience.
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of >> stephen: when did you realize you liked it. i was a big campus star at college and i think there was one particular number and a gilbert and sullivan opera where i stopped the show and the audience would not stop applauding. they simply would not let the show go on. >> stephen: what was the show? >> john: utopia limited by gilbert and sullivan. i stood there and looking at them. and they didn't stop and i thought, i'm going to become an actor. >> stephen: very few jobs involve people clapping for you for extended periods of time. yes. >> john: ladies and gentlemen. >> stephen: oh, please. please. please. [cheers and applause]
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>> john: [laughs] >> stephen: john lithgow, everybody. when are you going to stop? [chanting "stephen"] will you go everywhere with me, john lithgow? what do you think makes for a good performer? what do you give to your actors as your directing them and how you pull it out of them? >> john: this has been an interesting experience which we will talk about. doug mcgrath is more of a writer than it actor and so in many cases i was just helping him wih very rudimentary ideas that he was so responsive to. like always let them see what you are thinking. like if you are talking about one thing, and you go on to talk about a cup of coffee, look at that coffee and then go to the coffee. let them think of you think of it, something as simple as that.
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it's actually an wonderful process to go through. i do not want to oversell it. >> stephen: greatest player ever written. >> john: the show is a gem, it's a piece of chamber theater. it doug is a urbain and woody new yorker, but he grew up in the middle of texas and he tells a story from his 14th year in eighth grade at a formative story and his life. a story about texas and his family, but mainly it's about a very crazy entanglement within eighth grade history teacher. we've been doing previews for two weeks and people have been loving the show. you've got to go down to the theater and i include all of you in this. [cheers and applause] you know, it's a little 99 seat
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theater, it opens in two days and we people find out about it, it's impossible to get in. get your tickets and act now, and don't tell anybody about it! that's how i've chosen to sell. >> stephen: fair enough, play hard to get. it's lovely to see you. tickets to "everything's fine" are available. john lithgow, everybody! we will be back with tony award winner wendell pierce! ♪ ♪ narrator: the man with the troublesome hemorrhoid enters the room. phil: excuse me? hillary: that wasn't me. narrator: said hillary, who's only taken 347 steps today. hillary: i cycled here. narrator: speaking of cycles, mary's period is due to start in three days. mary: how do they know so much about us? narrator: your all sharing health data without realizing it. that's how i know about kevin's rash. who's next? wait... what's that in your hand? no, no, stop!
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♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back! ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a tony award winner you know from "the wire," and he stars in "death of a salesman." please welcome wendell pierce! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ there you go! >> wendell: this is great! >> stephen: nice to have you on, great meeting you.
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>> wendell: great to meet you, this is my first time on "the late show." starting out with the best. >> stephen: should be an easy transition to you because here you are broadway theater. and fans have enjoyed you in "jack wire," "the wire" but you're also a stage actor. seven years ago you made your broadway debut? >> wendell: the boys of winter by john killmeyer, it was a vietnam play. very serious. lights go down and ready for a broadway play. if we would come in shooting m-16. it was crazy, we did at last long. >> stephen: now you're starting as willy loman in "death of a salesman." one of the great tragedies of the 20th century by arthur miller and this is actually the first time there has been an all black loman family.
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what does the black experience in america -- [cheers and applause] what does the black american experience bring to the roles? >> all the themes we are doing the play, nothing changed except a few slight things. we are doing death of a salesman, all of the themes, all of the conflict that was originally in the play. that's part of the play and the condemnation of the pursuit of materialism and wealth and capitalism and how you can lose sight of that as a man who is pursuing this sort of delusional approach to something he doesn't understand the first wealth in life is the love of family and not materialism. it is heightened the unobtainable american dream is heightened as so many black families especially in the
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1940s, 1949, you can see all of the insults and the violence of micro and macro aggressions of racism. you couldn't even get a loan to pursue a house, or attain any of the american dream that was there. i think of all the generations of people who made a way out of no way and in spite of it all, they still gave hope to their families and that was the one thing that really fights for willy loman and the production is fighting no matter what with all of the obstacles placed in front of him, he still feel he can give his family and his sons especially something and leave back a legacy. and he doesn't realize that if he just takes the blinders off, the legacy of love he's giving his family is the thing that he should be proudest of. the thing that's obtainable and tangible, not the pursuit of the illusionary american dream
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that's unobtainable for so many people. they carried on the stick that draws you in but ultimately disappoints you. it's timeless because we go through that now, the gulf between the house and the haves have-nots and being pushed aside and not given the opportunity to truly fulfill their entire amenity at the expense of the few to give the few rich folks some ease so many people are expended. our expendable. and that was the condemnation and the cautionary tale that arthur miller is writing and it is all heightened when it's in the african american family because we understand so much of it was institutionalized with segregation. and jim crow, i'm from new orleans and so when i was growing up in the ' 60s and
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'70s, the vestiges of that. in segregated south at that time, segregated america, you could not even go to a park, a green space in new orleans except for one day out of the week. day. and add to qcs of all the americans that said our values are so much better and better and that's what arthur miller really heightens witches do not crush this american family and the idea of the unobtainable dream and let this be the canary in the coal mine so we do not lose this wonderful country that we have. [applause] >> stephen: we only have a moment more here but i'm going to ask you a big question. that is about tragedy itself. what do you think tragedy -- because this is truly a truly
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tragic story. but one that is emotionally cathartic. what do you think the purpose of tragedy is in our lives? people understand why they go to a comedy, why did they go to a tragedy? >> wendell: it's the canary in the mind, the cautionary tale. don't make those same mistakes in the hubris that a man like him willy loman mix. that's why we gather in the theaters and turn off the lights, thoughts out to the individual where we toss and turn and reflect our own lives, triumphs where we hope to go. we gather like this so we collectively can reflect on who we are, where we've gone, and what our values are. and then collectively decide what they are and then move this theater and go through the doors and try to act on it. and that is what tragedy is about. this is what the human condition is and if you make these choices
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they can destroy your life, so learn from that. let this be a cautionary tale so you can do better. and it's so emblematic of what the play was and the experience that i have personally because my father, 97 years old, was at the opening last night. [cheers and applause] this -- this african american man who saw -- love this country when the country didn't love him back, but still sent to us you cannot get lost in america. literally and figuratively, go out and do whatever you can to fulfill your dreams. and last night, he came to new york around the time the play was written. and the choice he made instead of what willey made, which was a tragic choice. my father chose to come home and one promise he made to his sons
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is i will never leave you. and he gave me love and he gave me time. and that allowed me to fly. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: so lovely to talk to you, thank you for being here. "death of a salesman" is on broadway now at the hudson theater! wendell pierce, everybody! we will be right back! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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>> stephen: good night! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ are you ready to have some fun ♪ ♪ with love tonight ♪ ♪ don'tou

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