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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  March 15, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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quarantine measles is more contagious than covid but experts say that the vaccine is very effective and most of us have been vaccinated however, the vaccine is risky for pregnant women and babies so you have about 100 people who have been moved to a hotel at an undisclosed location where they must quarantine the last numbers that we got out of the cdc come from march 7th and say that about 45 people nationwide have measles that is before new cases popped up in chicago, sean. >> sean: thank you for good report how about a background check and health check and means test before anyone comes into the country just about that's all the time we have left this evening as always thank you for being with us thank you for making the show possible please set your dvr and never miss an episode let not your heart have a great weekend.
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>> that's how it works how are you doing i love all of you high love you it is friday you know what that means let's welcome tonight's guests he has 13 adds for the 13 original colonies fox and friends well -- weekend cohost. >> she has a southern drawl and likes to brawl cohost of the bottom line on foxbusiness. >> she is like a dental floss thin and wiry and makes your gums bleed the new york times best-selling author and fox news contributor.
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>> and what you call the great pyramids, he calls them a footstool of the new york times best-selling author comedian and former world champion tyrus before we get to some news stories let's do this. >> it is leftovers where i read the jokes that we did not use this weekend as always it's my first time reading them soft face talk we will beat joe mackey to that with joe waters hairpiece it weighs 80 pounds in australia billionaire announced plans to build titanic to in a similar story joe biden is running for a second term once again the president asked if he was allowed to take questions during a campaign stop than his
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staff immediately hustled reporters out of the room in their defence visiting hours were over a georgia judge has ruled that fani willis can stay on the trump case but only if she fires her former lover nathan wade so it appears she is still screwing him that's a play on words america deal with that a new booking tool allows travellers to avoid flying on boeing 737 max plains the boeing ceo said that any one has his doors open dylan mulvaney debuted his first music video for a song called days of girlhood at least one music man says they love it elon musk
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abruptly cancelled don lemmons ask show after taking one episode so if don is looking for work i can always use a new foot rest 57 year old mike tyson will return to boxing in a fight not sanctioned by any organizations we are still waiting on the aarp arkansas has banned using a gender-neutral marker on its drivers licenses anyone worried they will have to prove that they are female with a physical exam has been told that the state is bringing in an expert. a canadian supreme court justice
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faced criticism for calling a female rape victim a woman in stead of a person with a regina the judge fired back saying that every canadian knows a [ bleep ] when they see one mcallen texas named the most obese city in the usa that mayer disputes this saying that the city is just big boned saudi arabia's first human robot inappropriately touched a female reporter which makes me wonder could this be the beginning of the arc to me to moment meanwhile saudi arabia also introduced its first female robot a man who spent 72 years
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living in an iron long has passed away handloom flowers his family asked to send it wd-40 an elderly woman went to disney world to celebrate her 106 birthday she was still in line for her 107th birthday monica lewinsky and now the head of a marketing campaign for women's dresses or as bill calls them targets sunday is st. patrick's day that is where celebrants are
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encouraged to practice the age-old custom of simultaneously plummeting and urinating behind a parked car and finally according to a report nearly 30 percent of generation z women identify as lgbtq and that goes up to 100 percent whenever they are approached by this man would you like ranch or blue cheese with your deep-fried burmese? stakes and they want us to eat snakes climate change threatens to incinerate the earth the global geek serves jumbled across something new to eat snakes a new study shows that python farming could offer one of the most sustainable sources of meat in the world yes
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sustainable the code phrase for tastes like old man armpit but why pythons you ask? good question imaginary person well scientist point of the pythons can survive extreme weather go without water for one time and seldom contract animal viruses like bird flu swine flu or covid-19 none of these points have anything to do with how delicious snake meat is which is probably why they survive even other animals find them disgusting they also grow extremely fast and have a smaller carbon footprint than traditional meat sources like before pork well done they have no footprint we don't have any feet but i guess the smaller carbon footprint means that snakes for less or at least they're good at blaming it on alligators apparently python farming is already happening in
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parts of asia in countries with a cultural precedents for eating reptiles and where food security is increasingly compromised through the impact of global challenges such as climate change reptiles offer an efficient safe and flexible source of protein so there you have it elites say it is time for snake and bacon when you now hear there are snakes on a plane it just means more snack options and once again you have the world's experts telling you that the globe is in grave danger here's what you must do to save it and it's always replete they would never do eat insects eat snakes give up their private flights to davos for aspen we should feed them to the pythons although i doubt they can unhinge their jaw enough to swallow al gore but because they
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are better than you or me they are exempt from their own advice instead of let them eat cake it is let them eat snake while they gorge on flame mignon in their gulfstream g. 500 sorry i think eating snake should be like marriage only do it when you are backed into a corner with no other options thank you plus things can always go wrong i believe we have video of an unfortunate mishap. >> my pants down i was taken a [ bleep ] there were some money on the floor looked up and there was a [ bleep ] snake with me was the snake supposed to knock? you've been all over the world that enough about the bedroom. >> wow. >> welcome to the show. >> we were talking about snakes. >> you're under fire now. >> have you ever eaten snake?
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wood you eat snake? wood you go? >> i would definitely eat, i want to know what it taste like. >> chicken. >> doesn't really taste like chicken? >> it taste like chicken is just healthier. >> so not better. >> this is dull chicken. >> so yes, i would try it of course but i'm not going to eat it only if it taste like, in order to have more farms anymore farmers which want to be snake farmers and i have yet to meet anyone that would like to gather up hundreds and hundreds of snakes and have them breed more snakes. >> i am sitting right here i have hundreds of snakes. >> some people would say that you're not normal. >> do you have their names? is a greg? because i think it was greg. >> people say i'm a python farming i do bicep curls. >> no.
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[ simultaneous talking ] >> that's why you wore the short sleeve shirts who can tell that joke. >> it's spring, being from the south's snake what they serve at the fancy restaurants? it snake and then they always say market price. >> no. >> you're about to get it. >> southern people are smart because you can raise hogs and you can raise cattle and if the hog gets loose or a cow gets loose you have people who can handle that and get the hog or the head of cattle back to where it belongs but some crafty python is going to slither into the pond and take up residence binder house and then all of a sudden the neighbours dog is missing and then your dog is missing and then, is missing literally cat is [ bleep ]
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missing because and then one, two, three pythons living in the pond not a like 100 plus pounds and 19 feet long and him talking about the florida everglades. >> there was some history there thank you i do see, at, i know you will eat anything as long as it is in the form of a soup so a cobra chowder a burmese broth a python purée. >> i don't like purée i don't like anything purée or bisque i want to chew a little bit. >> half of the audience thought i remember that. >> i always ask i was very disappointed i ordered a potato soup dividend was a purée and i don't want a warm smoothie i was just taking about chunks of potatoes and those very disappointed. >> you want to be hardy.
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>> i do not want to put a lot of saltine crackers in it and it gets everywhere i don't have the best of fine motor skills but anyway was there question? >> just asking you if you will need a soup. >> it depends on what the soup is dependent good it is if i said what do you think of the snake noodle and they said it was delicious i might try it but if they say it sustainable i would say what are you talking about? >> that's the thing i want to eat because i want something that taste good not because it sustainable don't want to sustain my appetite i want to build my appetite. >> they are hard to clean also can't just pull the skin off. >> you have to go like. >> you remember when campbell soup started making those soup in the red cans? >> i played outside.
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>> you're clapping only encourages nationwide bullying so you are the expert here. >> this is stupid first of all the amount of money spent on maintaining them will kill you you take it cow out in the yard with the grass and stuff but a snake as a certain tempter they won't grow or eat you have to keep them because they're from a tropical climate you can it often asia where they are from but if you do it in wisconsin snake farming every winter unless popsicle snakes are really popular then i can make it five breed ball pythons and i can't say at any time but i thought this looks delicious so again one of the ideas they have they say stuff and you i'm guaranteeing your right they saw something on twitter about burmese pythons being invasive species and they said instead of wondering why our infrastructure so screwed up and they said you
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know what we could eat them in sustainable but you're not eating my babies you can [ bleep ] around find out come get my snakes. >> before we go a quick announcement i am going back on tour this summer come see me live with special guest tom i will be in red bank new jersey fort lauderdale durham and las vegas go to gutfeld.com for ticket information up next bernie sanders shrieks about shorter workweeks
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>> he looks like he never showers and wants to work fewer hours bernie sanders goes nuts and looks like a pot sour video of the day from a mysterious old man in washington dc raising his hand and making noises. >> can i talk to about the 32 hour workweek it seems like, foxbusiness, it seems like democrats want businesses want to be taxed more than pay their workers. >> is that what you think exceeds me. >> i didn't ask a question. >> senator. >> i want to we held a hearing
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on a 32 hour workweek because what we have seen is that over the past 50 years despite huge increases in worker productivity almost all of the wealth has gone to the top 1 percent or 60 percent of people are living paycheck to paycheck many people are exhausted we work the longest hours of any people in the industrialized world and i think it's time for a shorter workweek. >> can i ask a question about that it seems like democrats want businesses to be taxed. >> that's not my sentient, i don't think so. >> pay lower prices now are paying. [ simultaneous talking ] >> when mr baeza's pays an effective tax rate lower than the average worker i think we have a problem with our tax system might think that billionaires have two start paying their fair share of taxes thank you. >> bernie hasn't been that fired up since he sent a bowl of soup back at the deli he is after
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billionaires now that he's a millionaire kind of change to that answering the question the artist she has ever worked i think you needs a vacation at one of his three houses that was our very own hilary vaughan or misses peter do see asking bernie sanders about his proposal to establish a 32 hour workweek in the u.s. with no reduction in pay the bill would also reduce the threshold for those who work overtime something that sanders has never done unless of course you count the time he tried to comb his hair is bernie even worked 32 hours in his life you can push this bill which promotes employees getting paid more to work less but most people just call that working for the government but do the math paying the same rate for 20 percent less work would led to 20 percent fewer workers we have to call the five the four
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and that's not how i want jesse waters to get fired i want him to get fired because of public transit but what democrats don't understand is the real minimum workweek is zero which is ironic because that's how much most of their voters work day get in the ever watch video and wonder what does it smell like. >> yes. >> i make excel the bad tooth and aqua val the. >> i'm thinking just bernie breath. >> he was so close to her. >> exactly don't get close to me the halitosis of an old economy could is probably i'm thinking raw garlic trying to increase the blood flow and then swilling listerine trying to cover the
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raw garlic up and just a word to the wise if you get that close to my face i am going to headbutt you in the teeth. >> that is why you are not a man on the street reporter they keep you behind a desk for the safety of others all right we focus on what how he is saying it but the stuff he is saying is infuriating you says the top 1 percent also pay the most taxes there was 1 percent he also says this thing that billionaires should pay the same rate as everybody else everybody else should pay the same rate as a billionaire why does it have to go higher there's should go lower thank you one man clapped.
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>> i don't believe in taxes so there is that this is i there a classic story of government getting involved in small-business it never works out well but i will not be one of those people that says you only want to work four days a week a gross snowflake when my job is this i work hard i work. every day especially since i'm back onto her with tickets available now thank you whenever i think of saying while i work every day i just picture someone hearing me say that while they are like shoveling coal and also you are right he only started saying well billionaires are the problem when he became a millionaire himself and then all of a sudden billionaires weren't a problem anymore i think it's a good thing to want to make money i think we should encourage
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people to be prosperous. >> exactly. >> to cats point jobs are different and there are some jobs like hr or pr or academics think tanks that you can compress your work because you're not working that much but there are some jobs you can't compress if you are working in an industry where you have to speed up you're going to have an industrial accident. >> or you're going to fail i don't know bernie he is just reminds me he just took his viagra and the window was closing and she was like trying to stop him and he was like look i just took i only have 20 minutes of this i have to go i have to go he kept using his hands like know not you i only have so much time let me go.
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>> on your next show you have to do an entire segment on the viagra window i don't think anyone ever talks about that. >> well what happens is guys get cocky and they go to early there a dinner at seven and then 10:00 there like we have to go to go i assume i'll talk about him to her this summer we left only joke but here's the thing they are going to ruin the lives of lower income americans because they are going to be replaced because why do i have to pay them more and they work less when i can have an ai cash register or pour your drinks at the ball and i can have a robot do stuff in factories what they're going to do is you get three days off you only have to work for now but we don't need you because you're too expensive and the robots are cheaper outsourcing overseas is cheaper
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so then you have a huge group dependent on the democratic party. >> we want to get that saudi arabia and robot. >> which one? >> that burkett would get caught in the machinery and then they'd have a lawsuit don't wear that on the assembly line. >> were you freaking out because your robots burka came out and you saw the leg. >> did you know she's married to p. do see. >> i knew that. >> do you think they have private moments at home or they try to compete on who had the better media moment. >> i was thinking to they practice on each other i will be jumpy or interesting a question. >> that's a keep the marriage fresh. >> i will be bernie sanders you approached me in the hallway.
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>> maybe a little role-play. >> keeps it spicy. >> you where the sanders wig. >> don't brush her teeth for three days make me feel it more garlic and that's all we need to talk about. >> i think so i don't have to ask you any questions up next a brand-new trip for the most infamous ship.
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>> story and five words billionaire builds new titanic so cat an australian billionaire clive palmer of course his name is clive is building a full-sized replica called titanic to hopes to have it set sail in june 2027 after this horrible destruction i wonder if it is too soon do you think this is something that you would actually embark on? >> no i love that he was quoted as saying it would be far far superior to the original like i sure [ bleep ] hope so all you have to do is not kill more than 1500 people and you have
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achieved your goal without one but he said it's a lot more fun then sitting at home counting my money all day which i think is what it comes down to most people can still find excitement in other ways in life without having to test fate like this but i think if you're billionaire you can have everything you want when you want at the second you want to start to be like you know what everything is boring except testing fate so i think only a billionaire would actually embark on this. >> tyrus this reminds me of relationships. >> this is like getting remarried. >> yes i didn't say that but it was in my head how did you know that. >> because it's the first thing i thought why would you do a bad thing twice and i know you want to do something but it so important for you in your own life that you don't do it, i
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know that she's watching. >> i am happily married. >> so my. >> who isn't this is a bad idea itzhak it killed people don't bring it back it's like, hey, let's bring back covid let's just push the stupid why listen on to say it i'll just pause for a second seeking deleted is like nasa. >> you have them thinking it you have to say it you know what could happen is this one could sink and then another billionaire could launch a submarine to go look at it you thought it couldn't get worse. >> despite what has been said i think this is a great idea i think it's a great idea i think this guy is going to make a ton
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of money because they are going to promoted people will love it they're going to want to test fate there's no fate involved to hear it's a beautiful ship it ran to an iceberg as someone wasn't thing attention there to build a new one everyone seen the movie they're gonna want to go there and have dinner and take the pictures for scheduling to make a ton of money. >> and then sink them. >> maybe but that's part of the fun. >> that's the experience and you get to swim home. >> extra lifeboats. >> actually following the original journey of the first titanic that is pretty amazing. >> no it's okay because of global warming the glaciers are gone it safe now just don't run over the dead drowning polar bears. >> the original titanic was hit by an iceberg. >> a cruise ship it will be at least one or 50 guys on it who
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won't put their shirts on and won't even wear flip-flops yelling where is the all-you-can-eat buffet why can't one billionaire rebuild the hindenburg and set it on fire so we can all go watch it burn. >> coming up our panelist basking the questions you ask
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>> of all human takes and quirks what is one thing that a stranger will do, it doesn't have to be a stranger really but one thing that will set you off. >> anyone who says to me at the end of the day and then keeps talking i can't stand that well at the end of the day i feel like you five seconds after that ended in move on i can't stand that i hate people a whole another, having said that, just
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say it. >> you know what the new one is is for sure everyone is saying for sure, if you heard that? i feel it i hear it constantly cat, what do you say? >> i think when not answering text messages but it's okay when i do it if someone else doesn't answer my text message but if i don't answer yours then i was busy relax. >> with all quirks people don't like them but still do them themselves but pete you're almost perfect. >> it's true but body order and on planes removing shoes. >> yes. >> keep your shoes on on the plane. >> and where sleeves no tank tops on the plane. >> i have not encountered that but that could led to the body order. >> i did once. >> i believe you have plenty. >> i have a very long list just
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this week using leaf blowers on the sidewalks in new york city rather then just sweeping them because it's like dog poo flying in the air people who have coughed drops in their mouth and try to talk to make that noise. >> that's terrible. >> man it's always men not women they put the car in drive without the seatbelt on and then you have the sound and then they put the seatbelt on. >> i hate that i have one that i bet everyone knows what i'm going to say but maybe not when you are in line at the grocery store and you have more than three or four items and they ask you if you want a bag that drives me nuts is that only new york like i have a full thing of groceries in the last me if i wanted bag. >> at least they quit asking you where your parents were at i
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want to do this when i like this one lol, that's cute asks what is the weirdest fact that you know i will go first did you know and short people can't donate to sperm banks. >> you just won't let it go. >> i learned that last night you have to be 5-foot seven or taller to donate to a sperm bank you don't have to donate to sperm banks your entire life is a sperm bank do you know a word fact? >> can't there be a short people sperm bank? >> i think that's just being lonely. >> okay, well, let's. >> day shift. >> imagine being sent home from a sperm bank but i can say i
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have been thinking about it since yesterday actually. >> that came up in last night's show. >> i was thinking about it when walking out just if you're walking out all sad man. >> doesn't have a word fact? >> that's my whole life, that's my personality is weird facts that's all i have crow fat is the antivenom for if you get bitten by any venomous snake that's indigenous to north america most all emergency room's have it if you keep venomous snakes that are not indigenous to this part of the country you need a different type of anti- venom in your refrigerator or you will die. >> can snakes give sperm? >> yes, they can even the short ones. >> weird facts. >> when a lady bug he'd say a fit they have a virgin birth and they called themselves walter being evening so they keep living. >> that is incredible that's
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incredible. >> all you have to do is do a gully or smoke some weed and then sit by a rosebush and watch it's amazing. >> cat. >> herpes is a respiratory illness in cats. >> interesting i was confused when i found out that genes has it but it doesn't mean he's less worthy of love that other cats. >> he didn't get it forming knitting in the street. >> you get as a kitten. >> okay i'll come over later. >> so may thanks that i want to say that i will just move on up next we want to get jitters talking about cute critters.
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>> you go first. >> how exciting okay play the video is not my job look at this chicken on the swing i relate to this chicken because i love swings my father i make him keep the swingset in the backyard even though i'm 35 years old i like to swing on the swing and listen to music and think about my feelings. >> thank you don't encourage that. >> how about you. >> check out bobby the cat he's
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hanging out on the exercise bike can see the exercise bike is point away from the window but bobby has apparently noticed that there is a naked woman who sundays in the backyard and the owner put the exercise bike in the wrong direction i made up of the part about the naked lady. >> that was the best part. >> you had me. >> this is a cat from italy. >> why are they all cats? >> i love cats. >> cats are awesome trying to get some milk and yes yes yes there you go right there you know you landed on his feet. >> this is a problem with today's society they would rather film this then help. >> good job gutfeld. >> could have put the phone down
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and taken the four cats had out of that cop but instead they said this'll be a great moment i'll get a hundred likes you make me sick whoever i am talking to i don't know who you are. >> there will be no cats in this video we are keeping it weird how i a lot of weird games with my animals that i teach them things of the food-based teaching and one of my baby stingrays she will fly for her food and so she will start member she sees me your closest down the ground or not supposed to be in the sand but she likes to float around and fly when i come by so i call her kite and she does this you can see she doesn't little dance the other fish the other fish are like you get on the ground stay in your lane but she refuses she believes she is something else i think she think she is a butterfly but whenever i come in the room and i whistle she will float and fly so either that or she has that crush on me and i keep telling her stocking work. >> did they have high balls. >> they have two eyeballs and that mouth and the reflector
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system and a heart there are animal greg. >> that was a necessary. >> i'm sorry that i missed my window i gotta get done with the show. >> that was fun don't go away we will be right back hou from chest congestion and any cough, day or night. mucinex dm. it's comeback season. now try mucinex instasoothe sore throat medicated drops.
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for moderate to severe crohn's disease skyrizi is the first il-23 inhibitor that can deliver remission and visibly improve damage of the intestinal lining.
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serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. liver problems may occur in crohn's disease. control of crohn's means everything to me. ask your gastroenterologist about skyrizi. ♪ control is everything to me ♪ learn how abbvie could help you save. >> greg: we are out of time thank you for your time and our entire crew i'm greg i love you america. [ cheers and applause ] >> trace: i'm trace gallagher it's 8:00 in

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